Coping with a Relative with Dementia
Trying to find things for June to do was quite a challenge as she periodically forgot how to do things. She was peeling the vegetables for dinner each evening but had forgotten how to use the peeler and a knife became dangerous as she continually cut herself.
I have many planters and mini trees up on the verandah and gave her the job of watering these but she would water some and not others or totally drench some plants to the point where the soil was running out of the planter. We had so many repairs in the hose as she continually screwed it around or got it jammed and her way of unjamming it was to pull it until she has released it by splitting it. I would have to wait until she was asleep then sneak out and water what she had missed.
June loved orchids and had several different types she grew which were her pride and joy and we bought then with her in the move . Even though she could see them every day she took no interest in them any more so I had to learn how to care for them for her as they weren’t something I had grown very successfully.
Coping with Dementia
June had always had cats and dogs but as she got older found she couldn’t afford to have them so she loved being with our 2 cats and our very elderly foxy Trixie and being able to see the other animals in the paddock. I had to watch her as out of the blue she could become cruel and belt Trixie for no reason. She would be asleep and woken up with June belting her. One of the biggest problems was her continually giving Trixie food off her plate at one meal then the next meal telling her to go away . When she was feeding her she would watch me to make sure I wasn’t looking . I felt very sorry for Trixie as she never knew whether she was going to be friend or foe.
Hot taps being left on were a continual nightmare and I had already saved the upstairs bathroom being flooded just as the water was running out the door. As I previously metioned I was certinaly suffering from sleep deprivation and didn’t hear her get up one morning at 4am for her shower and when I got up at 6am downstairs was flooded . I didnt know whether to laugh or cry and it was made worse by June saying she had no idea how this could happen. I got to the sink to pull the plug out and turn the hot tap off . I can assure you she had done a lot of damage which I will relate in a later post. We now only have a plug in the kitchen sink which I do have to put away and June has a bowl in the bathroom which fits in the sink but doesn’t cover the plug outlet.
Every day is a new day and I have to say to this day I have never raised my voice to her and try to be as honest with her as I can . I often think if only I had of had all this patience when my kids were young.
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Author: Brenda Baker, Media Marketing & Publishing, Co-Founder of YORGOO Publishing, YORGOO Press and Semiomantics.
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